Super Zombie-Puppy Bowl!

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Which Bowl Is For You?

For as long as…well for a very, very long time there has been the Super Bowl. This held little interest for me other than the commercials, which now you can see on You Tube all together the next day without all that annoying football in between. So how do I spend that one extra-special Sunday? Well a few years ago I stumbled upon something intriguing onpb 2 the Animal Planet network. It was basically a bunch of adorable little puppies running around, chasing each other, playing with toys, and in general being so damn cute you’re instantly turned into a window-licker.They called this enthralling television event

The Puppy Bowl.pb fielf

Since then it has more than exceeded the non-existent expectations of the network execs and grown to pb pepunexpectedly large proportions. The entertainment has been greatly expanded to include other animals as guest performers in their kitten half-time show, a pep squad pig, and something that involves penguins. I’m sure there’s some televised sports related position as the premise for why the darling lil aquatic birds are waddling pb HTaround on fake grass but honestly, who cares? So. Effing. Cute.

I know what you’re thinking: Dianthrax watching puppies?? A living WMD making “aww” sounds over kittens?? You must bPuppy Bowl X Day Onee putting me on!

But I kid you not, I happen to have a big soft spot for animals…and babies. So you can understand why a showcase of baby animals running amok is basically my Kryiptonite. Horror films filled with throat-cutting and limb-chopping won’t faze me. Walkers biting the faces off screaming victims? Pffft! I watch that during breakfast. But if the dog dies at the end don’t expect to find that movie on my personal top 10 list. This weakness for sweetness is also why standing in stark contrast to my many action figures, extensive vampire collectibles, skeleton bedspread, and miniature guillotine there’s also a 2014 kittenPB-kitten calendar. My mom gets me one for Christmas every year and I’m not ashamed to admit that I think it’s the cutest thing ever and I love it. So there.

Combine my love of baby animals with my utter apathy towards most professional sports and you’ll know what I’ll be watching.

But wait! This year something has changed! This year AMC has thrown my whole system out of whack by creating The Zombie Bowl:

human v walkera Walking Dead marathon featuring all of the best walker vs. human moments of seasons 1 and 2!

the.walking.dead.s02e07.hdtv.xvid-fqm-1481These are a serious collection of The Walking Dead (Season 2)showdowns with some truly memorable monsters; not to mention the walkers. There twd-s02e08-_018were The Walking Dead Season 2 Episode 10-60staggering hoards, bloated body shredding, an assortment of sharp objects to the face, and everyone (other than Carol) significantly upping their position on the badass scale. But there were also some loses-including a few of said badasses themselves- but who are the true victors?

Obviously we are. Duh.

The Walking Dead (Season 2)Plus the network knows how starved we fans are for any ugly-skank-e1322401575215info on the second half of season 4 so I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re aren’t some tasty teaser tidbits during the commercial breaks amidst the non-game.

With this new option weighing heavily on the uber-fan portion of my heart and soul, what’s a complex girl with diverse tastes like me to do? Do I go with puppies or zombies?

That’s when it hit me. I’m proud to announce that I’ve come up with the perfect solution to implement next year that is sure to please both Puppy Bowl and Zombie Bowl fans alike.

I zp4call it

The Super Zombie-Puppy Bowl!!

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This new entertainment sensation features the un-dead versions of those lovable little pups fighting over a football stuffed with human flesh, all inside a Woodbury style torch-lit concrete arena. Bets can be placed zp2and fantasy teams assembled, though I think the kitten zp3half-time show will need to be removed or it’ll end up being the kitten ripped-in-half-time show with the refs removing the scraps off of the “field.” We could keep the pig pep squad though. We’ll just see if Rick could loan us some….oh yeah. Nevermind.

So tweet about it with #SuperZombiePuppyBowl & talk it over with other fans. I’d love to see some of your “zombified” versions of kitties, puppies, and pets of all kinds too, (God knows they’ll be better than mine) so post links in the comments section.zp5

Let’s spread the word and make this happen!

Super Zombie-Puppy Bowl 2015!

-Dianthrax

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The Walking Dead Mid-Season Finale Episode IV: No Hope

collected group shot2Review of AMC’s The Walking Dead  Season 4 Episode 8: The Mid-season Finale

**As always my reviews contain adult content, language, sexuality, fantasies of violence, and all kinds of other fun/naughty stuff. The images may be disturbing as well as my sense of humor. Reader discretion is advised. There will also be spoilers so if you decide to read a review about an episode of TV that you haven’t watched yet expect to be even more outraged than usual. Also, you’re dumb.**

Yes my lovely readers I have made my triumphant return to blogging and writing and the world of the living! Like a bad case of Herpes I just keep coming back to inflame, annoy, and make my presence impossible to ignore. I know you’ve missed me; please stop crying. Or maybe you’re just upset that there won’t be a new episode of Walking Dead until February? Honestly, how very much does that suck? The only show that’s actually worse is Game of Thrones and they have a cast of 50 billion and film in like, 12 countries plus outer space! Come on AMC- get your shit together!

Now I know I’ve been gone a while and should have a whole lot of catching up to do…but I’m not gunna. If I tried this article would become a “companion guide” that never gets finished so instead I’m just jumping in. If you’re reasonably intelligent and you’ve kept up with the show you’ll be just fine.

So where to start, where to start…

Ok, how’s this: Judith isn’t dead, Carol is coming back, and one of the children is the psycho responsible for butterflying that kitty Tyrese found.

Do I know all of this for sure because I have a secret inside source that hacked the network Exec’s email accounts and read them all with my jaw on the floor yelling “Oh my God!!” to my laptop screen, frightening all the other customers at Starbucks?

 No- I don’t go to Starbucks.

But I sound pretty sure don’t I? These are just my personal theories combined with wishful thinking because I would rather see Daryl hook up with almost anyone other than Carol. I know that I’m in the minority here but the idea makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Beth, Michonne, Sasha; anyone else is an improvement. Daryl luvs Ty

Actually I think it would be super-awesome if Daryl turned out to be gay. I mean, he’s always gotten along better with Glenn and Rick than any of the women, and think of all the stereotypes it would destroy to have the show’s red-neck superman playing for the other team! Plus all of the homophobes watching the show & buying crossbows on eBay would never recover. Dixon Vixens would be hurling themselves from rooftops left and right! It would be hilarious!

To be fair I don’t dislike Carol just because I think her little sexual innuendos with Daryl are creepy and gross; I have never liked her. Back at camp in season 1 while everyone else was looking for food or keeping watch, Carol was ironing clothes and nicking Rick’s grenade. Who even brings an iron or ironing board with them when fleeing during the end of the world?? All Carol ever did was cry and whine and blame everyone else for all of her problems while expecting them to take care of her and her kid. Remember in season 2 when she couldn’t protect or keep track of Sophia so she blamed Rick for not doing it for her? Did she even once go out and look for the kid after the 2nd day? You know, the day she went into that church and admitted she was aware that her sleazy husband was molesting her daughter yet did nothing about it? Yeah. Then when the herd came through Hershel’s farm and she waited around for Daryl to rescue her, she decided to go back on every positive/affirming thing she told him about himself in order to manipulate him into running off from Rick & the others. I mean, it was three fucking seasons before Carol even killed a walker!

Many people think that her transformation over seasons 3 and 4 has been impressive and admirable. I’m sorry but going from a useless bag of bones to a psychotic, murderous bag of bones is NOT an improvement. All the things she said to Rick when trying to justify killing two members of their group were pathetic and defensive. She wants to feel relevant S4A (16)and in control but she still needs someone else to bail her out. The only problem I had with Rick dropping her off and saying “hit the road” was that I knew it wouldn’t be the end of her. I would’ve given her the Otis and been just fine with it. This is why I’m sure that Carol will be coming back- not because I want that to happen, but because I’m just not that damn lucky.

I also do not believe that Judith is really dead. Yes there was a bloody car seat, yes no one saw her escape but we didn’t see a body, either. Admittedly I don’t think the network would be ok with showing a baby ripped apart by monsters and eaten like some giant jelly-doughnut, but  whenever we don’t see a person die and simply assume they’re gone they end up coming back with a knife-hand or deer parts or an effing tank. It also doesn’t seem likely that there would be this kind of buildup around a pregnancy and birth and a baby if she was just going to end up dying as collateral damage during an attack without any kind of fanfare. On the other hand, I’m sure it would make the show’s production a lot less complicated without worrying about an infant on set or trying to write to make surviving on the road with one a plausible situation. I don’t really care one way or the other since we hardly see her.Ep8Me (8)2

So speaking of children we hardly see, my theory about which sick bastard is responsible for killing small animals is that it’s one of the girls Carol took under her wing- probably Mika, the older one, who had no problem shooting a chick in the face. Side note: is it just me or does everyone in that camp seem to have magically accurate shooting skill? Each person is able to take down walkers from a distance with a head shot. Even kids who have never been to a shooting range can apparently nail you between the eyes with one round.

It’s almost…unbelievable.

Feeding the rats to the walkers seems to me like something a kid who names them and insists that they’re “just different” would do. You have to feed your pets don’t you? Though animal mutilations and cruelty are usually the bailiwick of males, I have to assume that in this kill-or-be-killed world little girls are just as likely to be all evil as little boys. Regardless I don’t think this will be something that just remains a mystery; someone’s going to be revealed as completely crazy-pants during one of the remaining 8 episodes.

Now that all that crap is out of the way I think I maybe should start talking about the episode I’m supposed to be reviewing.

Ep8Me (18)I never believed that the Governor had actually changed- not for a single minute. He’s a sadistic psychopath who enjoys killing and causing pain. He’s also a malignant narcissist who justifies the shit he does by presenting an altruistic front and telling himself that he’s doing it all for his family. I am so done with everyone who says that he’s a better leader than Rick or that he’s the better survivor or more fit to live in this world or any of that nonsense. He didn’t care about that chick or her kid- they were just surrogates for the family he lost. Remember how he said “I won’t lose you again”? That’s because he doesn’t care about who they are as much as he does whom they represent to him. He also didn’t kill that soldier guy and put him in the lake as a reminder to be vigilant or some bullshit like that. He did that for the same reason that he kept fish tanks full of heads: because serial killers take trophies. He kept that guy hidden enough to not be overt yet near enough to be discovered, just like he did with the heads at Woodbury, because he gets off on doing all of this right under everyone’s noses & feeling powerful, smart, and in control. Like I said: psychopath.

Meanwhile, back at the prison…

So um, if there’s barely enough gas to power people’s cars or possibly a generator or two, how the Hell is a moron like Mitch fueling up a freaking tank?? Considering it takes about one gallon of fuel to travel a single mile, either the Governor’s camp was practically on top of the prison or someone towed the thing up to the gate. Was no one keeping watch over there? I get that a bunch of people died from the bleeding-eyeball flu but after an army of walkers breached the fence shouldn’t it have become a priority to keep an eye on things (no pun intended)? How do a tank and a squadron of trucks sneak up on anything, let alone a prison surrounded by huge fields and fences? It didn’t even make sense to have this confrontation. If I was one of the people at that other camp there’s no fucking way I would risk my life to fight a bunch of strangers just because some guy with an eye patch said I should. If you ask me it was far too easy to get everyone behind that messed up plan. Oh yeah, and all nonchalantly saying “I kidnapped a couple of people to hold as hostages and force compliance” isn’t a glaringly huge indication that your new leader is a lunatic. Everyone over there is either stupid or insane and I’d be running over to warn Rick’s people about the imminent shit-storm before I’d ever march into battle against living people who’ve never done a damned thing to me or mine. Sorry about your daughter and your eye buddy but you’re on your own for this one.

While we’re on the subject of dead kids can I just take a moment to ask: what the Hell is wrong with all the parents in the post-zombie apocalypse world?? Lori was always running off and leaving Carl to roam around on his own and he ended up getting Dale killed, Carol lost track of Sophia & she ended up in the barn with all of Hershel’s relatives, then the kids at the prison were all over the place and Daryl had to run in and rescue them (when they Ep8Me (12)weren’t busy with Carol’s knife-fighting story time or teasing the walkers at the fence, that is.) Then we have the Governor’s wife 2.0 who’s chilling on top of an RV while her kid plays in the mud 20 yards away! Though to be fair it was only a matter of time for poor little Meghan. Hanging out with the Governor is the kiss of death; just ask Penny.

Or Andrea.

Or Milton.

Or Merle.

Or Martinez.

Or Pete…

You get the idea.

And I’m not saying that the kid had it coming but to be fair she did have a freaking metal sign in her hands when the flash-flood walker grabbed her. If she couldn’t bash its head in she at least could’ve put the thing between her shoulder and it’s snapping jaws until mom came over and shot it. Mika and Lizzie went and found guns then blew the brains of Tara’s girlfriend all over the prison yard and all this kid could do was scream and make mud PB&J sandwiches?!

Yet we’re supposed to believe that she plays chess in her spare time. Riiiight.

And of course, I already went off about Judith.

One would assume that a guy would make it a point to keep track of the kid his wife died Ep8Me (57)bringing into the world but at some point during the formation of the emergency plan people were too busy stashing guns right in front of the chain-link fence to designate a babysitter. No one was keeping track of Little Ass-kicker and because of that all of us had to see Rick’s ugly cry-face AGAIN. So not sexy.

I suppose I should talk about Hershel being executed O-Ren Ishii style. Then again I’m sure that’s what everyone and their mother is talking about so I really don’t think there’s much I can add. However I was sorry to see the Governor go, no matter how just and fitting his end was. He was truly terrifying at times, great at being a complex and devious flavor of evil, and Laurie Holden was right: he really is pretty damn sexy. I’d totally hit that. Preferably before he lost the eye, though. It’s a whole depth perception thing…never mind.

Ep8AMC (9)3Overall the episode was pretty sweet. There was a lot of gunfire and carnage, fire and explosions, child soldiers, grenade throwing, plus the tank. How often do you have a tank roll over some zombies? I thought Lauren Cohan and Emily Kinney both gave amazing performances: their reactions to their father’s murder felt very visceral and real and was very impressive. I also liked the juxtaposition of Maggie telling Glen at the beginning of the episode “I’ll be right back” when she went to get him some water, and then again when she leaves him on the bus in order to search for Beth. It was pretty cool seeing Clara the crazy “it’s just ahead” lady from the first episode as a walker amidst the hoard drawn to the prison, too.

But what I really, really, REALLY didn’t like was the super-cheesy and nonsensical attempt at being artsy and metaphorical shot of a walker stepping on the king from the Governor’s chess set that Meghan drew an eye-patch on.

We get it: the Governor’s reign of terror has ended, he has been de-throned, he got what was coming to him, karma’s a bitch, blah blah blah. The whole katana-through-the-chest-&-gunshot-to-the-head thing made all that pretty clear. Maybe that shot would’ve been more palatable if it wasn’t completely random and implausible. So the Governor decided to pocket a chess piece for good luck and bring it to his hostile takeover, then it went flying out of his pocket way over to a part of the yard he wasn’t anywhere near yet still Ep8Me (56)2miraculously remained intact? And showing him picking it up before he left his camp so that the audience would know how the Hell it got out there was just too much? Cut out because of time constraints?

Epic fail Walking Dead production people.

I’d also like to say once again and for the record that this whole “mid-season finale” bullshit is fucking retarded. No new episodes until February 9th? How am I supposed to spend my Sunday nights, watching reruns of Duck Dynasty?? Hell no! Just because I can’t get my Daryl fix doesn’t mean any old redneck will suffice! DiP (60)

Only a Dixon can satisfy my addiction.

And don’t think that putting on “Love Actually” helps at all, because it doesn’t.  Just because it has Andrew Lincoln in it doesn’t make it any less of a chick flick. I’m on to you AMC.

Well this wraps up my magnificent return to writing stuff and posting it online. I hope you enjoyed it as well as the obscenely huge collection of images I assembled for you. I’m sure I’ll find something to complain about in the meantime but on the off chance that I don’t I’ll have a spankin’ new post in February.Promo collage

Until then my fellow freaks and geeks,

  -Dianthrax

P.S: Am I the only person who noticed the sign at that gas station in episode 3 spelled out “Hell” with numbers, as in the price of gas per gallon? There’s a picture of it in case you don’t remember.

Pretty clever production designers! *wink, wink*

Also, be sure to check out my fabulously extensive image gallery. There are photos from episode 8 as well as behind the scenes shots, walkers galore, and images from the first half of the season. There’s also a lil something at the end that I do for my own enjoyment: I call it “Daryl Is Pretty”. You’re welcome ladies.

(All images property of The Walking Dead and AMC Networks)

In Memorium of My Beloved Sabrina: A Tribute Video

My cat Sabrina died on Sunday April 15th.

This was what I wrote about how I felt at the time (with some help making my point,)  It’s also a photo collage that I assembles, did some editing, played around with, dug up old photos for…you get it.

Then finally there’s a video tribute to her that I’ve been working hard on. It seemed important to get done for some reason…and it helped me not cry all the time by requiring me to focus on some internet work-like stuff.

But this is what’s been going on with me- why I’ve been such a slacker with my posts when I have so much I wanted to say. Now I just try and get through each day- one day at a time.

Anyway, I hope you like the tribute. Or at least the video. It was all made out of love.

My mom and I had been in Fresno and decided to come home Saturday night instead of Sunday night, otherwise I would’ve just found her dead. As it was I came home and she had been sick all over the living room. She came to the door to say hello to me as per usual, but when I fed her she couldn’t make it to her dish without limping. I brought the dish to her and figured it was a sore hip- arthritis, you know? She was, after all, about 15 years old.

She ate and once again I told me mom that I think someone thing’s wrong with her- that I thought she was sick and needs to go to the vet. My mom’s replay is that she’s “just old and sick and probably going to die soon.” This had basically been her reply every time I’d brought this up over the last few months regarding Sabrina’s deteriorating health. My mom wasn’t a big fan of pets- even though with my sister’s help, SHE was the one who picked out Sabrina because she had liked cats. She’d even made a few comments about her just “hurrying up and dying already” even though she knew it really upset me and pissed me off.

Somewhere along the line after my mom rescued her from the shelter, Sabrina became my cat. Everyone says they don’t know why, even though I’ve explained the reason why I think it happened that way.

Because I stayed up her first 5 or 6 nights in a row with the pathetic little kitten bed my mom made & expected her to sleep in, all alone, out in the cold living room up in my bed with me. I curled my arm and my comforter around her so that every time she woke up at 2 or 4am crying and freaked because she’s just a baby and suddenly in some unfamiliar place away from her siblings, I was right there to show her she wasn’t alone- that someone was protecting her and watching over her. I’d soothe her back to sleep no matter how long it took, even though I had to be up and go to school the next day. I explained this and still everyone complained about how I didn’t even pick her out- that I wouldn’t even go to the cat shelter to pick out the one we wanted (which they took to mean I didn’t care.) Part of that is true- I really didn’t care which cat they came home with; I knew I’d adore her and somehow I just knew that she was going to be mine.

Sabrina was an amazing cat- unlike any I’d known before. She wasn’t afraid of anything; she could sound as fierce as a tiger and she made sure no other cats dared to venture into the yard of our old house- it was her turf. I’d seen her make dogs 10 times her size turn and run.

You know those news stories about cats that save their owners by going all feral and crazily attacking a full-grown bear or some other large predator that wandered near the house and the attack is so swift and startling and frenzied that the bear ends up running away from the house-kitty? That’s the kind of cat Sabrina was; she had a wildness that never went away and I carry my scars with pride.

That doesn’t mean that she was in any way vicious or unfriendly or mean- quite the contrary. She was sweet and friendly and never once scratched or even put her ears back at my little nephew while he was running around, desperately trying to pet her. She loved being touched and cuddled and would scent-mark (rub her cheeks against) my face and neck and fall asleep right in your lap, purring up a storm.

Sabrina was so different, too. She loved rather than feared water and while I took baths she would push her way into the bathroom to walk around the edge of the tub and swipe at the water or sniff the bubbles or sometimes just sit there with me like she was reading over my shoulder. She loved to play and I bought and made toys of every type imaginable. We had these little mini-tennis balls- slightly smaller than a ping-pong ball and not terribly heavy but with a bit of heft to them. I’d roll or send them bounding out of the room and Sabrina would go tearing after them. Then a minute later she’d come trotting back with it in her tiny kitty mouth like it was no big deal, and drop it in my lap to throw again. I swear it was just like a dog playing fetch only without all the nasty slobber.

She was indoor/outdoor and needed to run and be free and patrol the surrounding area looking for fights (actually she mostly stayed in our front & back yards. Anyway…) but every night she always came inside. This is because inside is where the food dish lived, but even if it wasn’t time to come in or if she was already in the house and just hidden away in some nook somewhere, no matter where she was or what she was doing if I called her she always came to me. She only did this with me.

We had a language of purrs and chirps and meows and high-pitched tones that only she and I understood. I know it sounds stupid and you probably think I’m nuts for thinking I could speak cat. My family didn’t believe me and thought it was stupid too…until I stood in the driveway and showed them that at any time of day no matter what, if I called her she came to me every single time. That was why she never slept outside; I called her in to go to bed and she came up and got in with me. I could only demonstrate that part of it, but I knew by her meow if she was hungry or thirsty or hot or cold or bored and wanted to play, even when she wasn’t feeling well. I knew she had something wrong with her before we took her to the vet and she told us she had worms.

She knew how I felt too. When I was crying she came and wouldn’t leave me alone- kept jumping into my lap or on my stomach no matter how many times I pushed her off and told her to go away until I gave in and let her stay, and her cuddles and purrs always calmed me down and stopped my crying. When I was really depressed she’d do the same thing, and when I had surgery on my abdomen and was in a lot of pain she jumped up on the arm and walked along the back of the couch to get over to me and lay by me on my pillow. She went completely around my whole midsection; something she’d never done before, to get to my chest and neck for cuddles. It was awesome.

She was so special; my first cat.  She was there for me for so much that I don’t think people understand what losing her has done to me.

For one thing I’ve never experienced grief or loss like this before. It’s like every second feels like I want to throw up all of my insides while tearing my skin off and screaming! I’ve been numb for so long- I don’t even remember the last time I really truly felt something with all of me. The closest feelings of happiness or joy I have like that are the births of my nieces and nephews, starting to seriously date someone I really like, and going to Comic-Con (before it go all lame and insane.) Those are probably some of, if not the only, happy times I’ve had, yet parts of them still don’t feel the way I remember joy is supposed to feel. It’s not supposed to have a dark haze around the edges like some fog-covered unreality that’s going to turn dark like the contrast on a screen at any moment. Is it? I remember a time when it didn’t.

Then there are these feelings: grief and loss.

I am totally not prepared for this!

Treating my depression with something as radical as ECT scared the crap out of me and I lost so, so much because of it. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve lost and what that’s done to change me and the plans I had for my whole life. How I’m still discovering side-effects or ways in which my original side-effects have distorted aspects of my personality and life and daily living. Unless you’ve been through it, no one will ever understand what that damage does to a person.

Yet I’m here. And believe it or not this is considered better. The Novocain has worn off- I’m not numb to all of my emotions and the beautiful gift we call “living life” anymore. I feel everything.

I FEEL EVERYTHING!!

It’s not like going from black and white to color- it’s like going to a world made of fluorescence and neon signs so bright it makes your eyes bleed! People’s cruelty or insults don’t hurt my feelings- they devastate me! Oh, and I discovered that I have one Hell of a temper!  I want to rip everyone to shreds who pisses me off! I want to ruin the lives of the assholes that hurt my friends, and I want to yell at my family for expecting me to do everything they want when they don’t know a Goddamn thing about me!! When they’ve poisoned me and could’ve killed me more than once because of their ignorance and laziness!

I want to yell and scream at my mom for sitting in her room watching The Lakers and doing nothing while I’m curled around the body of my dead cat on the living room floor, crying like I think I’ll never stop!

I was numb when my grandparents died and I loved them very, very much. But I was in the middle of my depression and I couldn’t feel anything like my sisters could. I had to create and read the Eulogy for my Gramie and I read it without so much as a tremble in my voice. At first they said they were impressed with my composure, but when I tried to explain how I wasn’t inconsolably upset because I couldn’t be- I just couldn’t feel it.- they called me a heartless freak. Because I never cried in front of them I didn’t love her as much as they did. Do they have any idea how very much I wanted to cry and hurt along with them?! How desperately I wanted to feel sadness for the loss of someone I loved so much?! I have a disease and that is a symptom- that’s what it is and I have no more control over it than a Diabetic does over his own damn insulin production!! Aren’t you supposed to have some fucking understanding for people who are sick and suffering?? I was so hopeless and sedated and miserable and being punished for it.

No one even knows how many times that cat had saved my life. She seemed to know when things were the worst with me and she’d jump in my lap and wouldn’t leave me alone until I lost my window of opportunity or changed my mind.

“Who would take care of me once you’re dead and gone?” She’d look at me with little angel face and seemed to say “Don’t leave me here with these people; I’m your cat dammit!”

Knowing my family she’s probably end up at a shelter or something, never getting adopted, eventually put to sleep- just like me. She didn’t sign on for that. How could I look in her big green eyes and condemn her to death? There were times when I came close, but I never could. She loved me and saved me and last Sunday I couldn’t do that for her when she needed me to.

I feel asleep on the couch and after a bit noticed her nosing at the edge of it, but she couldn’t jump up. By the time I reached for her she was under the table a few feet away where she likes to sleep. So I dosed off again and didn’t think much of it.

When I woke up an hour or so later to get some water I saw her lying on her side by the sliding glass door, mouth open, panting a bit, but her chest barely moving. I dropped my water and went over to her and started petting her and talking to her- and I saw she wasn’t panting, she was gagging. I lay flat with my face near hers and she tried to meow and roll when she saw me, but only the faintest of sounds came out and she couldn’t roll. I started crying. I yelled “help!” several times to my mom but she was watching basketball in her bedroom and either “didn’t hear me (fucking unlikely) or just didn’t care or want to be bothered by/deal with it.

I lay down with my cat and told her I loved her and petted all her favorite spots: her soft chest and ears and forehead down to the bridge of her nose and cried the whole time. I kissed her and stayed right next to her and saw her beautiful green eyes disappear behind huge black pupils. She made one last gasping sound and then she stopped moving. My beautiful Sabrina just lay there staring at nothing. I tried to close her eyes but I couldn’t do it.

I stayed right there, just like that and cried like I don’t remember crying in years. I don’t know how long we stayed with me holding her to me like that but it was long enough for her tiny body and its soft grey fur to get cold. I remember my mom looked at me from down the hall very briefly. She saw us like that and said “Oh no.” Then she walked away. She walked away and left me there, going from her bedroom into mine and a minute later her usual cheers and curses that accompany a Laker game on TV resumed.

She also stepped over both of us in order to get through the glass door to go outside. Bitch.

I can’t remember crying like this- hurting like this.

Oh God- I can’t fucking take this!! I take it all back- I want to be numb again!

Please make me be numb again- I can’t handle this neon-green grief that burns and burns and fills me up with bile until I want to cut my insides out and pull them onto the floor so I can stomp them until there’s no feeling left inside me!

My head aches constantly from all the crying and congestion and my eyes feel like they’re alternately going to burst out of my sockets with the pressure, or wither up and dry out like crusty, puss-covered raisins. It’s not right for one person to cry so much and to make these sounds! Keening and gasping, this choking broken sobbing sound can’t be coming from inside of me, or any human being for that matter! Why won’t it just stop!?

我想昧耳,昧心,變石頭・我想昧耳,昧心,变石头 !

 


I can hear my baby kitty’s least breath playing in my head over and over and over like some horrid broken record. It was a death-rattle; an actual, real-life death-rattle. I’d heard about them and read about them but never actually heard one, you know? It’s that last shuddering breath dying forces out of the lungs of someone you love while you watch the light just go out in her eyes. I’d read and heard about that too; seeing the light leave a person’s eyes as they die. Well now I know what it looks like; that exact moment when she goes from seeing you and looking up into your face right there- right fucking there in front of her– to suddenly seeing nothing. It’s just a silent, blank stare that will never see anything at all ever again.

She died right by the doorway- I have to see it every day. I can’t go to sleep at night without seeing it. I’m going to sleep alone forever and the night before she died I was too fucking lazy to pick her up and put her in my lap when I noticed she couldn’t jump up in it.

The last night I would have had with her and I was too tired and rejected her.

I’ll never get over that.

My lungs are on fire and I’m coughing, curled up in bed taking basically a Soma holiday and trying to forget the world. It’s not too hard- my mom isn’t really speaking to me. She didn’t even say goodnight the other night. My sisters each sent a text saying “sorry about your dead cat” the day it happened. Then a day after that I get a picture message from one of them of this Hello Kitty cake she baked with her new pan she just bought online and my other sister and all my cousin’s ooo-ing and aahh-ing over how cute it is. Hoo-fucking-ray for you Mel! A Hello Kitty cake is EXACTLY what I want to see right now! Maybe you could make it grey instead of white, put Sabrina’s name on it, and then all the kids can make like Chris Brown and smash it!

Be sure to take a picture of that and send it to me.

I literally have no one so I turned off my phone. Why bother when no one has anything decent to say? My closest friends are atheists and while I know they care about me what are they going to say that would make me feel better in even the slightest way? “Sorry your cat died and your whole making-a-headstone-for-her and having that little funeral service thing you’re planning is foolish because there’s no God and no afterlife and she isn’t chasing butterflies in some iconic cat heaven; she’s just ceased to exist”? They’d never say that but I know what they’re all thinking & what they believe and there’s no comfort to be found there. Sympathy, sensitivity and love- but no real solidarity or understanding. Which I don’t hold against them and I’m still unendingly grateful for each one of them that I have in my life. They are my real family.

I don’t know how to design this stupid headstone! Doesn’t a person ever freaking run out of tears? Christ…

You see, this is what happens whenever things start to go ok for me for a while; when the other shoe finally drops it lands on & kills my fucking cat!

 

Sabrina- you were a perfect example of the best kind of cat anyone could ever hope to have for a pet. I’ll miss you every day. This is for you:

R.I.P. Beana

A Titanium Rain Change, Crazy Mary, & Grieving for The Dead

A Few Updates:

A Titanium Rain change:

Above is a link to a news article about the audio comic of Titanium Rain Vol. !; an amazing graphic novel/ comic book series by Josh Finney and Kat Rocha. I reviewed it a while ago for a couple of comic book news websites; here is a link to one such review so that you can get an idea of what I’m talking about & what the audio version would be like:

http://www.metalmachine.net/blog/2012/01/21/finney-rocha-titanium-rain/

But you can check out some info about it and other awesome audio works at This Is AudioComics

You’ll also be getting some info very soon about some chick called “Crazy Mary” & her kickstarter campaign with all of it’s donor benefits. Visit the Crazy Mary website to learn more & keep watch for updates from me…maybe even an interview…anything can happen!

One last thing- I haven’t forgotten about The Walking Dead & my reviews or image galleries; I’m just still grieving over the end of season 2 and the 7-month dry spell ahead before season 3 even comes close to premiering. I figure we all need time to grieve so they’ll be up when I’m ready and I feel like you guys are too; hope you stick with me until then because I do have some pretty cool things to share.

But I do miss it; I think I’m even getting withdrawals…

The other day I was reading a 2-page newspaper advertisement for a sporting goods store with tons of little pictures all over it of everything from hunting gear to yoga mats. After about 10 minutes of looking I realized I was mentally cataloging all the items that I would want with me during the Zombie Apocalypse!

(Binoculars? yes.  Night-vision periscope? Oh yes. Steel-toe workman’s boots? Yup. Boxing gloves and bag? Not so much) and so on, just like that, in my head. I’ll probably do it with next week’s paper, too.

Sometimes even I find myself disturbing.

Update Concluded:

Dianthrax Out.

Additional Info/Image Sources: http://01publishing.com/  http://www.glitchwerk.com/titanium/about.htm  http://crazymarycomic.com/  The AMC Press Resource Center

The Walking Dead: Season 2 Episode 11 Review

The Walking Dead:

Season 2 Episode 11 Review

*Warning: The same old stuff- episode spoilers, mature language, graphic content, etc. etc.- so  proceed at your own risk.*

There’s something about episode #11 in a 13 episode season that feels different from 9 or 12. I think it’s that the countdown to something going off is usually from 3. (Except for countdowns from 10; like NASA launches and New Year’s Eve.) When you were a kid you counted to three before you jumped in the pool from the high diving-board or raced your best friend just to know who was faster. In Mario Kart it’s always 3-2-1-Go, and when you were in trouble your parents said things like “If you aren’t over here cleaning this up by the time I count to three I’m throwing away all of your Legos!!”  For whatever reason three is the magic number that seems to perfectly fit the interval of time required to prepare for that green light- that jump into the pool.

It’s also this big symbolic deal thing in numerology and mysticism and like, virtually every religion there is.

And it has its own “School House Rock” song all about it.

But coming back and bringing my original point with me; episode 11 feels like the first step in the countdown to dropping the nuke and obliterating everything we’ve come to know about these characters and their world. I know this is episode 3 in the 3, 2, 1- season over, so it should feel that way. I never got that feeling at any point while watching the first season; obviously not when only three episodes remained out of 6 episodes total, but just in general it never felt like this to me at any point. I didn’t have this increasing anxiety that each of the last three episodes is a step closer to devastation.

With that I give you my take on Step #1:

We learn a great deal about all of the main characters in this episode as far as who they really are as people and what they’re capable of. It starts with a bit of the old, squirrel-tossing Daryl coming out to play for a while in order to get information out of Randall, who is chained up in what must be the smelliest barn in history. He bloodies up his knuckles and takes out that giant freaking knife of his to threaten to re-open Randy’s nasty leg boo-boo, but eventually the kid gave up the info. It is not good news. A giant group of heavily armed men who go out “scavenging” for supplies and should the opportunity present itself, occasionally force fathers to watch while they gang-rape his teenage daughters. Oh but Randall would never do such a thing! He never laid a hand on those girls- he just watched.

I think Daryl should’ve saved everyone a whole lot of trouble and just killed the little fucker right there. He’s as much of a rapist as whoever he was with since he let it happen when he could’ve done something to stop it. And I can hear the argument now: “How do you know he could’ve done anything? He was out-numbered and I’m sure they were armed- if he tried to stop them he probably would have been killed!”

Well then he should have died.

If he couldn’t stop them without managing to get killed by them then he isn’t smart enough to survive. If they would kill him or shoot it out rather than stop raping a girl if he stood his ground and threatened to kill some or all of them then he can’t trust them and isn’t really safe with that group anyway. And if they would threaten to hurt/kill the girls or the father or call him a traitor with no loyalty to his own group then he only has two possible futures anyway: become a monster like the rest of them and assimilate or eventually be killed over something awful enough that he can’t ignore it.

I don’t buy that he couldn’t do anything- I don’t think he wanted to do anything. I think he’s sadistic and manipulative and all this talk over being innocent and just trying to survive is bullshit. For those of you who believe in that sort of thing, the Bible claims “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” James 4:17

But my summation of choice for how I see this situation comes in the form of a quote from one of my favorite movies:

“Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.” (Btw- 100 Super-Awesome Points to those of you who can tell me the name of the film in the “comments” section! 😉

This notion is important and brought up later in the episode, too.

After telling the rest of the group what he learned (except for the teenage rape story), Daryl, Rick, and all the others were pretty set on executing the guy rather than risking his release. Dale is the lone voice of dissent and convinces Rick to give him until sundown to talk to the other people in the group and look at other options before they kill a person who, for all they know, could be innocent. He has several very impassioned conversations with Shane, Daryl, Hershel, and Andrea before everyone gathers together in the farmhouse living room to have a group discussion and vote.

I particularly enjoyed Dale’s talk with Daryl; it made me happy that someone other than Carol showed they care about him. Saying that he’d have to do more than just move his tent away from the rest of camp if he wanted to “get away” from them was a surprise to me coming from Dale- up until that point I hadn’t realized anyone else actually noticed Daryl as a person, let alone as one they weren’t willing to lose. He still doesn’t think his opinion counts for anything and that no one looks to him, claiming he’s better off on his own. When Dale disagrees and says that he and Rick are decent men while Shane isn’t, I don’t think he was prepared to hear that Daryl figured out what happened with Otis a long time ago and, more importantly, that Rick did too- he just didn’t want to admit it to himself. Daryl says the group is broken. Dale looks a bit broken himself after that little exchange.

I think he counted on Hershel backing him up since he was such a religious man, but Hershel surprised both Dale and me by saying he didn’t want Randall anywhere near his daughters and that he was leaving the whole thing up to Rick. (Since the guy is a creep and a rapist I’d say Hershel has good reason for feeling the way he does.) Though where he is now compared to where he was when we first met him in the season, Hershel has such vastly different morals and convictions! It’s like all of his confidence has been squashed out and he doesn’t trust himself not to let everyone down again by making the wrong choice, so he doesn’t make any choices and leaves everything up to Rick. This isn’t something he can just shake off, either- meaning Dale couldn’t count on his support to stop an execution of a possibly innocent man on his own land.

Satan was snowboarding in Hell because Dale even approaches Shane to plead his case and *gasp* Shane was actually pretty reasonable about the whole thing. There’s a particularly important bit where in arguing the numbers: 12 of them and 1 of him but 30 of his gang, Dale tells Shane “killing him doesn’t change that; but it changes us.” Killing this one man won’t really make them any safer- it wont make a difference when it comes to the threat of attack by an armed gang- but it will make them less than what they were. It will diminish the humanity of the group in an irreparable way.

However Shane is certain that this is the right choice to make. If they spare Randall- let him join the group, see if he’s useful and maybe even a nice guy- one day he will kill someone, and that will be blood on Dale’s hands. It isn’t a matter of convenience or just being ruthless- Shane truly thinks that Dale is wrong. Yet he agrees to back him up if he can get the whole group to share his opinion on the matter. That’s a whole lot more than I ever would’ve expected from Shane. Honestly that whole conversation was more than I expected from him.

I think maybe Shane’s going to kick it at the end of the season and this is the start of a campaign to make him into less of a psycho and more of a good guy so that he doesn’t die a creep and a villain. I’d even go so far as to say that I think he might die in order to save someone else- like Carl or Lori or my favorite, Rick. That would be cheese-tastic!

I think Hershel is going to bite it as well- though I’ve said that before. Giving the watch to Glenn felt a bit like his character was having his affairs put in order- wrapping up his loose ends in the sense of making sure Maggie has a good man to “take care of her.” One who also cares about and will help her look after her little sister once he’s gone and there’s no one else to do it. At the same time he’s also letting Glenn (and therefore Maggie) know that they have his blessing/approval as a couple, in case he never gets the chance to tell her so outright. It may have seemed a bit lame and contrived to some of you but I thought it was a nice way to cover an important moment in the progression of those three characters.

It felt real, too, because of Steven Yeun’s portrayal Glenn’s surprise and awkwardness and not really knowing what to say or do in that situation. I mean the guy is given a very precious and meaningful family heirloom and he says “thanks” like he was just given a bag of Doritos! I’d have gone with something like “thank you, sir” at the very least! There’s totally no breaking up with her now, either! For all intents and purposes Glenn just got married to the farmer’s daughter, and in this world you have to fight tooth and nail for a divorce- literally- because the only way out of a marriage is if one of you fails to fend off the teeth and nails of the walkers!

Another important character we get a good look into the nature of is Carl Grimes, who’s always somehow in the story and important to it, yet still manages to be peripheral. We see what this world and all this loss and death and violence has been doing to him because you just know it’s gotta be turning him into a little psycho! Virtually all serial killers have violent, abusive childhoods and I’d say that’s not a poor description of Carl’s life lately. He’s been showing little signs of coldness and detachment and this episode we saw some real creep-factor behavior on his part.

First I’d have to mention how he was sitting in the barn, looking down at Randall in chains like he wasn’t a person. Randall starts talking; appealing to Carl’s concern for safety for him and his family, his sense of mercy, and trying to seem like a nice guy. Carl looks at him without a response, as though he couldn’t hear a word the guy was saying. He stared at him the way people who don’t like animals stare at some exotic creature in a zoo- curious and interested but without any emotional involvement or sympathy. He’s so empty in those moments that it seems almost fake for him to be afraid of getting in trouble with his parents when Shane catches him. It’s a great way to show that while he has this morbid, developing darker side he’s still just a kid.

I can understand him lashing out at Carol; anger is a stage of grief. I can even understand playing around at Daryl’s campsite while he’s away. There probably isn’t much for him to do and for a young boy Daryl would have some really cool stuff. He’s like the older step-brother whose room you’re never allowed to go into or you’ll get your ass kicked, which means, of course, that you have to see what’s in there so you sneak in while he’s not home & just try not to move/break anything so that he never knows you were there. Only Carl doesn’t seem to get that last part- the not wanting him to know you were ever there part- because while playing with the super-sweet motorcycle that would give Daryl a stroke if he caught him touching, he just pockets a gun that was stashed in there.

First of all, if there’s anyone at camp that you do not want to steal from or piss off, it’s Daryl. Second, you might get away with maybe taking a knife or one of the animal skins, but a gun is something that is going to be missed. Third, that gun was there for a reason- what if Daryl is on his motorcycle and counting on having it to save his ass, then reaches in and finds that someone has stolen it?! Fourth- it’s stealing! What the Hell is wrong with you?! You steal a gun from someone when guns are “worth more than gold” then like a retard, you lose it!

So is carrying a stolen gun to go for a stroll in the woods the substitute for stealing your dad’s cigarettes to smoke with your friends? You know- the stupid shit kids do to feel like grown-ups? Because it didn’t seem like he had any plan in particular in mind while on his little hike. It was more like he wanted to do what the grown men do and not be afraid to go into a dangerous area because he can protect himself with his stolen gun. Or at least that was the idea when he found the walker stuck in the mud.

As soon as he stopped the more appropriate running away in order to do the far more disturbing staring and throwing of rocks I knew that walker was going to get out of the mud and go for him. My other thought was that Carl must really, really, really want to shoot someone/thing. Think about it: if he puts down the walker with a gunshot the whole camp is going to hear it. Not to mention other walkers in the area; aren’t they supposed to be drawn by loud noises?? Everyone is worried about a gang of armed men coming to the farm and attacking them, so if all the adults are accounted for and Daryl gets back from hunting and says it wasn’t him, who do you suppose they’ll think is shooting in the woods? That would surely speed up Randall’s “trial”! Plus for all we know that gang actually could have scouts or something nearby who hear the shot and because of it, find the camp!

But as soon as that shot goes off Lori and Rick will want to know where Carl is and when they can’t find him right away they’ll have everyone searching around camp for him. It’s not going to be possible for him to just sneak back out of the woods without someone seeing him and telling Rick and Lori, who will want to know what he was doing out there. He’ll probably be so excited about shooting his first walker that he’ll tell them everything; including the little detail about how he used the gun he stole from Daryl after he found it while going through his things. But no matter what his parents are going to find out about all of it and then his ass is toast- and none of this occurred to him because he’s a kid and wants to be an adult and he really wanted to shoot something.

He also wants to hear the group debate over the fate of Randall, but he isn’t allowed. That’s a bit of a shame because Dale was simply amazing. Jeffrey DeMunn was captivating, arguing with so much passion and feeling and eloquence. It was like watching the play “12 Angry Men” (or when I was in it “12 Angry Jurors” since there were chicks involved) and Dale is Juror #8- the single “not-guilty” vote trying to convince a room full of people who were so set in their “guilty” verdict that they thought there wasn’t even any need to discuss the matter. Dale pleads so effectively and with such sound arguments that you almost find yourself changing from “guilty” to “undecided” in Randall’s case. Then Carol speaks up, proclaiming that she just wants the arguing to stop and for someone to decide, but either way to leave her out because she wants no part of it.

Dale tells her “Not speaking out, or killing him yourself; there’s no difference.”

Really Dale? Then by your own logic you’re arguing to save the life of a violent sex offender- a man who is, by your definition, a rapist, ephebophile, and a sadist. (Here is where that whole doing-nothing-to-stop-someone-from-committing-an-atrocity-makes-you-just-as-guilty-as-them thing comes in.)

But the only person who heard that story and knows what a piece of trash this guy is won’t say anything and claims not to care: Daryl. Maybe that wouldn’t make a difference to Dale.

No one is in agreement with Dale- not even Glenn who is usually on his side in everything. I thought it was interesting when Glenn says “he’s not one of us.” What defines “us” versus “them” to the group now? It used to be just the living and the dead, but Rick said things changed when the living started trying to kill them too. Obviously Hershel and his people are among the “us” even though Otis was expendable. I’d be curious to hear how Glenn defines the two and when exactly Hershel’s people became a part of the “us” group.

Another surprise comes when Andrea speaks up in agreement with Dale, though it doesn’t matter since everyone else is still all for offing Randy. Dale is disgusted and asks if they’re going to watch too; then saying “no, you’ll hide in your tents and pretend we aren’t slaughtering a human being.” I thought that would be an interesting concept; saying that everyone who votes to execute Randall also has to watch that execution be carried out. No one can cast a vote to end someone’s life then pretend they had nothing to do with it while Rick, Shane, and Daryl do the real dirty work. In one of my favorite sci-fi book series the main character becomes a politician and makes some really radical social changes. One of them deals with the death penalty and forces the sentence to be carried out by a family member of the victim. So if a guy rapes and kills a girl & is found guilty, that girl’s mother or father or husband etc. has to be the one to shoot the guy in the head in a public execution. That way the family gets their own brand of justice & the government isn’t responsible. That’s because if the person can’t carry out the execution- if they just can’t do it- then it doesn’t happen.

I think they should’ve done something like that for Randall. Everyone who votes for his death has to watch and has their name put in a hat to randomly decide who has to be the one to do it. I think it may be more difficult for people to vote if they knew it meant they had to watch the kid beg and cry for his life, and even more so if they knew it could possibly mean they had to be the one to pull the trigger. If they can’t stand to see it or can’t make themselves do it, maybe it’s because they know it’s wrong? Personally I wouldn’t have a problem with it- mostly because I would’ve killed him a long freaking time ago- like back when he was Shish Kabob-ed on a fence- without him seeing it coming or asking for a group vote.

He’s taken out to the barn and about to be blown away when probably the only thing that could possibly make Rick stop actually happened- Carl went all uber-creepy and snuck away to watch them kill the guy and urging his dad to do it. I knew there was no chance Rick was doing it then and he tells Daryl to take him away.

Just like I knew something bad was going to happen when I saw Dale out by himself in a field at night.

Sure enough there was a still-living but completely eviscerated cow lying in the grass, which is seldom a sign of imminent safety. Dale turns and is pounced on by the nasty shirtless walker with no eyelids who doesn’t manage to bite him but does tear open his abdomen and create a hubcap sized hole in him before Daryl gets there and stabs the thing in the head.

A few notes/questions on this situation- what made the walker stop eating the cow to creep up on Dale? Shouldn’t he have been in a feeding frenzy and thus distracted? The walkers eating that horse Rick rode into the city on in season one didn’t stop eating in order to chase him, even though you would think human is preferable to animal. In fact that was how he was able to get away; so why did this walker leave his tasty living cow meal when he should’ve been distracted and all up in that shit?

Also, for those who wonder about how the walker was able to rip Dale open like he was a birthday piñata I have a theory that explains that in great detail in my article “Talking The Dead to Death.” Check it out if you’re curious about zombie super-human strength.

And finally; what the fuck was up with Daryl sharpening his knife while he has Randall all tied up and gagged and hanging by his wrists from the ceiling with no shirt on in some secluded part of the barn?? I mean, obviously I know what that’s about but what I don’t get is why that scene is put in there at all? Implying that Daryl is going to torture Randall to death after laying all this groundwork to show that he’s a good man makes no sense to me! I thought the whole thing was stupid, especially since they had him be the one to find him, kill the walker, call for help, and be the one to “put Dale out of his misery” immediately afterwards!

You knew there was no saving him but they needed Hershel there to tell say it and make it true, otherwise he wouldn’t have been there. None of the other people from the farm were present, but every single member of “our” group of survivors was there for Dale’s final moments; even Carl who was told to go into the house. Of course Carl also had to be there in order to see that it was the walker he failed to kill and pissed off enough for him to free himself from the mud- the walker he knew was out roaming the woods and didn’t tell anyone about in order to avoid getting in trouble- that killed Dale, making it his fault. But it was also worth noting that the entire group was gathered together and present when they lost another one of their own. Rick couldn’t bring himself to end his friend’s suffering, so Daryl has a very emotional moment with Dale, who puts his forehead up against the barrel of his gun and urging Daryl to do it, so he says “sorry brother” and pulls the trigger.

Dale was the voice of reason and morality in the group. He kept them from veering too far off course and forgetting the kind of people that they are and want to be- and now his voice is gone.

Their Yoda is dead and strong the temptation of The Dark Side is…

Second step- episode #12- this Sunday at 9.

 

Not Spending My Life Trying to Conquer Time,

-Dianthrax

Info/Image Sources: the AMC Press Resource Center, AMC networks

*Sorry for the lack of an image gallery. I hope to upload more episode 11 images very soon, after I finish editing them.*

Thought Merle Dixon Was Bad? AMC Casts ‘The Governor’!

Pedophilia, Necrophilia, & Incest: All At The Same Time!

Say ‘Hello’ to The Governor and the Actor Ready to Portray Him

*Warning…I think: This may possibly require something like my usual warning: graphic images and content, etc. and possible spoilers if you know nothing about the comics at all or completely lack the ability to put 2 and 2 together. Meh. You’ve been warned.*

AMC has revealed some major info about season three and the fate of some of the comic book characters that seemingly everyone has been longing to loath and aching to admire in live-action format via their TV screens ever since The Walking Dead first aired!

Today it was officially announced by AMC that British actor/director and BAFTA Award nominee David Morrissey will be joining the show as “The Governor”- a man so vile and sadistic he makes the Dixon brothers look like a fluffy little bunnies. Morrissey has appeared in many acclaimed British series, though is probably most famous for his role in the miniseries State of Play. Morrissey is also known for his leading roles in feature films such as “The Reaping”, “The Other Boleyn Girl”, and recently wrapped “Welcome to the Punch” opposite James McAvoy.

A character from Robert Kirkman’s graphic novel, The Governor is the leader of Woodbury, a small settlement of survivors, and becomes the chief antagonist for Rick Grimes and his group. To say he is a guy that has some issues would be like calling Lethal Injection a sleep aid. Not the least of said problems is the relationship he has with his “daughter,” which I wonder if the show will even touch with a 29 ½ foot pole considering it makes me want to puke and then immediately shower just thinking about it.

Kirkman had already confirmed in a previous interview that plans to bring in the katana-wielding badass “Michonne” were definite, and with The Governor joining the cast in season 3 I wouldn’t put her too far behind. Now that it’s official I’m also curious about who they will cast to play her, as to the best of my knowledge that has not yet been decided, and how they will handle her interactions with The Governor, which were also on the borderline of vomit-inducing at times. No doubt they will clean it up- it is network television after all. Though I’m fairly certain we’re bound to see some twisted shit in season 3.

But will crazy-pants Shane/Jon Bernthal be among said twisted shit? Fans are worried since rumors began flying about him playing the lead in Darabont’s new series “L.A. Noir”- as though he couldn’t do both if he wanted to. I guess TV actors can remain in a series only if they’re simultaneously cast in a film, but not in another TV series.

I’m not saying he won’t die or leave the show- things between him and former BFF Rick have been awfully tense lately. Andrew Lincoln said in an interview with AceShowbiz.com that “When [Lori] says, ‘I don’t feel safe; I’m scared’ – that’s enough. But then she also says, ‘[Shane] says that you’re not up to the job.’ That’s enough to push anybody over the edge, even someone as rational and as considered and as smart as Rick. He can’t avoid the issue much longer.”

Rage pimple pop-age time! Pus all over the place!

(I really should’ve found a less nasty metaphor.)

I think he is going to get it. When the group finds Woodbury they’ve taken a beat-down and are lessened in number. I think Shane will finally get his, if not from Rick then probably from the Otis-walker; or maybe that’s a bit too cheesey. But I don’t think he’ll be the only one we loose. I think Carol might get it just to clear the way for a possible Daryl and Michonne hook-up. I wouldn’t be sad if Andrea died, but I would if she took Dale down with her or he died trying to save her.

Andrew Lincoln is not very comforting, either, saying “Not everybody gets out alive. We’re not shy of blood, sweat and tears in the last four episodes.”

So the real message here: you win some, you lose some. We now know we’re getting The Governor and Michonne next season. We’ll also be gaining three episodes, as Season 3 has already been approved for a 16-episode format vs. season 2’s mere 13. We also know some of the people we’ve become so familiar with and, in certain cases, become really attached to, aren’t going to make it to next season. They start filming in Spring.

And if Daryl dies I won’t be reviewing or reporting on the show anymore.

Knows What It’s Like to Hate The Governor,

-Dianthrax

Info Sources: The AMC Press Resource Center, www.ComicVine.com, http://blogs.amctv.com/the-walking-dead/2012/02/david-morrissey-cast-as-the-governor.php http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00048190.html,
Image Source Links:
http://images.tvtome.com/tv/images/genie_images/story/2012_usa/w/walkingdead_governor.jpg
http://www.comicvine.com/the-governor/29-59467/all-images/108-217468/6244126/105-688243/
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The Walking Dead Episode 9 & Nipple Reviews

The Walking Dead:

Season 2 Episode 9 Review

*Warning: As per usual this review will contain episode 9 spoilers as well as mature content, including but not limited to adult language, graphic imagery, and mature subject matter. Choose to read at your own discretion- you have been warned.*

I was at a torrent site the other day and came upon a file to download The Walking Dead episode 9 that had something like 29 or 30 comments on it when usually there are only a handful. So I checked out what so many people had to say and the commotion started with one guy who posted a comment that read “Oh man, I can’t believe they let Shane die!” What proceeded this declaration was a string of outraged fans who hadn’t seen the episode and who believed him, using both colorful and creative expletives to describe this person and their irritation at having something like that ruined for them.

What I took away from all this was not that some people are stupid, selfish assholes who like doing douchey things just for the Hell of it- I already knew that. What surprised me was the number of people that believed his claim!  No one said “There’s no way that would happen- this guy is just trying to eff with us.” No one even said that he was probably lying; they all just believed that Shane dies in episode 9. If this were True Blood and someone said “I can’t believe they killed off Vampire Bill” I’m confident some fan would say that’s BS, even though characters get killed (the permanent kind of killed) in TB almost as often as TWD. Someone would realize that they aren’t going to let a major character die essentially mid-season with no build-up and no big Entertainment News explosion immediately after the episode aired.

Yet people totally believed the death of Shane.

The writers/producers for Walking Dead wanted the viewers to feel like no one is safe; that just like in the comic books, anyone can go at any time. I think they succeeded.

Even if I hadn’t seen the episode already I wouldn’t have bought that Shane died in episode 9. They’ve invested too much into developing his craziness and working on the tension between him, Lori, and Rick that ending it in episode 9 doesn’t make sense. That doesn’t mean I don’t think he could die- he could totally bite it at the end of the season. I find that less likely, though, than someone like Dale, T-Dog, or Hershel and his family. I still think comatose little sister is infected; it just hasn’t been long enough for the fever to kill her. I think that’s going to play a major role in how things go all to Hell at the farm over the next few episodes, too.

Like I predicted, Lori survived the car crash with minimal damage and apparently no damage to the baby (I was so sure of that one!) She even did a good job defending herself against two walkers- one of which tried to get at her through the windshield and did this awesomely horrible face-shredding thing on the glass! Loved it. Though no one even realized she was gone until she was missing from the dinner table.

All those people roaming around, all those windows, the long winding driveway, and the now out-of-place sound of a car starting/on the road and no one saw or heard her leave?? Carol has to find out from Daryl about it over at Camp Pouts-A-Lot where he’s now living, along with his animal pelts and the ear necklace he somehow got back from Rick.

(How did that conversation go? “Hey Rick-I was wearing this necklace of ears I cut off of walkers strung on a shoelace when that dumb ho shot me in the head and now I can’t find it. Any idea where it is? I’d really like it back- for sentimental reasons.”)

Now Carl is upset because mommy and daddy are both gone and it’s up to Shane to go rescue Lori- which, of course, he does. He also lies and says Rick is back at camp in order to make her get in the car and be compliant, which he says she never would’ve done if he hadn’t told her that. Then he spills the big pregnancy semi-secret like a total tool, which is how Carl finds out about it.

Carl says the sweetest, saddest thing after they go inside while he’s asking Lori questions about the pregnancy; he wants to know if they can name her Sophia if the baby ends up being a girl. Which makes me wonder how hard the loss of the real Sophia has been on him; how much he was counting on her being found, and what the realization that your parents can’t always keep you safe- that kids aren’t always found when they get lost in the woods- has done to his view of life and what’s really important.

I know a lot of people don’t find Carl or his interactions with the others and with life in this world to be of very much interest. When it comes to action and forwarding the plot he isn’t terribly thrilling, but for character analysis and as a window into the future of this harsher, more violent, new world and the kind of people who will be living in it, Carl is one of the most informative and fascinating of all the survivors.

Of course Shane has to bust in and ask Carl to leave so he and Lori can have a private discussion. I thought that was pretty messed up since they were obviously still talking about the pregnancy Shane just blurted out that Carl should’ve heard about from his mom and dad together, and also since it was very clear Lori didn’t want to speak with him. Even Andrea tried to tell him to back off but no- Shane’s a selfish dick who has to have what he wants the way he wants and when he wants them.

This conversation is a turning point for Lori. When she tells Shane she confessed everything that went on between them to Rick and that he understood she was grieving and scared and it was a mistake, Shane refuses to accept it. He insists that what they had was real- the two of them and Carl together was real and right and she knew it. He even claims that she loved him since before Rick was shot and basically the three of them (now four) were meant to be together. So now she knows how serious his delusion is and she’s been warned about how far he’ll go for survival or to protect what’s his- she has to be seriously scared.

If it were me, I’d tell everyone-just come totally clean about everything (except maybe not to Carl yet) and have everyone as a group stay safe, keep Rick safe, and vote Shane off the island.

Speaking of Rick, when we last saw him he was all sexy and badass, having just taken out two creeps. Now it’s time to be smart and get the Hell out of there- stopping to check their bodies for weapons and ammo, though. I was pleased and impressed to see them being so pragmatic about the situation. Then other people show up looking for Tony and Dave and this is when shit starts getting less impressive and more “Are you freaking kidding me??”

It turns out that drunk Hershel is still an excellent shot, which makes you think he might’ve been cool at some point before he became a Bible-thumping jackass

I also feel I should point out that I was right- sex really is making Glenn stupid. Or rather Maggie is making him stupid because loving her is sapping his courage. Suddenly he has something to lose and someone who will hurt if he doesn’t make it back and that idea paralyzes him when it’s time for him to face the bad-guys and do his part. I didn’t really notice him doing anything particularly cowardly or selfish- it’s not like he shot Hershel in the leg so he could get away or something- but apparently it’s a big enough deal for him to cause him to pull away from Maggie upon their return.

Shots between the three of them and the unknown number of guys outside draw walkers right to them. One guy takes a shot at Glenn so Hershel, who’s covering him, fires back and hits the guy who drops like a stone, moaning in pain. Then walkers descend on the poor bastard and Hershel gets a good look at what could’ve happened to him or Jimmy or anyone in his family if the barn walkers had ever gotten out. It’s a slow death, allowing for his screams to go on and on as one walker tears off part of the guy’s face while others work on his extremities. For Hershel it’s a big, horrible dose of reality, but one he adapts to with impressive ease.

Another shooter on the roof of a building tries to jump down to his buddy so the two of them can bounce, and one would think the guy would’ve aimed for somewhere else- anywhere else- than the spiked gate thingy when he took his hop off the roof. Instead he brutally impales his leg and clearly wont be bouncing anywhere, prompting his friend to take off without him, yelling “sorry” out the window as he speeds off. Now there’s nothing stopping Rick, Glenn, and Hershel from getting out of Walkerville…except for the kid screaming for help and begging them not to leave him there with his leg impaled on a fence. Rick wouldn’t be Rick if he didn’t go over and see if he could save the guy. Here’s where Hershel shows how much his views have adapted to allow survival in this world: he tells Rick there’s too much damage to the muscles and he’s bleeding out too fast so there’s little chance he would make it- maybe the kindest thing to do would be to put him down!

Maybe it’s because he’s a vet and not a doctor. Veterinarians are taught that putting an animal out of its misery when there’s no hope left is the right thing to do, while doctors are taught to preserve any form of life possible for as long as possible with any/all means available. He even said “put him down” like the guy was a horse or a dog or something! But I choose to think that it’s because Hershel is starting to get the nature of life outside his sheltered little farm and believes it’s a kindness to shoot the guy rather than let the walkers just have at him since they don’t have the time or means to help him.

That’s what I would do; shoot the guy I mean. I’d just walk up kind of behind him where he couldn’t see me, maybe stroke his hair like I was coming over there to comfort or talk to him. Then I’d just pop off a round in the back of his head without him ever knowing it was coming- problem solved. So while Rick and Hershel are arguing over whether or not cutting the leg off below the knee would work and walkers are coming in from every direction, I’d take care of the situation so we could leave.

They didn’t take care of the situation like I would have. They didn’t cut his leg off either. But they did rip him off the fence then blindfold him during the drive back to the farm where Hershel fixed up his leg as much as possible. The plan is for him to get patched up until he’s ok on his own, then give him a few provisions, drive him away from the farm and let him go his limpy way. For some reason this pissed Shane off. Now I guess he thinks the guy will lead his friends and the rest of Dave and Tony’s group back to the farm to start a war of some kind? Who the Hell knows. He’s probably mad Rick is still alive and feels like he has to contradict every decision that he makes.

He has an interesting little tete-a-tete with Andrea after making his opinions known to the group as a whole who tells him that his choices- stopping the search for Sophia, the barn massacre, lying to Lori the other night- were all the right choices, he just didn’t approach them the right way. Okay….

Just like I’ve always thought: Andrea is a complete and total idiot who’s as selfish as Shane and too busy being flattered and admiring him to realize that her idol is manipulating and lying to her.

Now that’s a weird soap opera-esque story: Shane loves Lori and believes she really loves him and not her husband Rick who is supposed to be Shane’s best friend who wasn’t really dead like Shane told Lori he was, which made her start sleeping with Shane until her not-dead husband shows up so she starts sleeping with him again while Shane starts creating an ally in Andrea & sleeps with her even though he really wants Lori and since Andrea doesn’t know about the situation with Lori and Rick & how she’s being used, she ends up falling for Shane and siding with him no matter what!

Meanwhile, Daryl is off riding horses, killing things with a crossbow, fighting hallucination-Merle, and walking around sweaty/dirty/angry and obscenely sexy.

Speaking of, he’s been in his own isolated little camp far away from the group since Sophia and in tonight’s episode Carol shows she’s not going to let him distance himself again. She tells him to “go ahead” as he viciously rips into her, bringing up anything and everything that would hurt her or make her angry or upset enough to drive her away. He blames Sophia’s death on her being a bad mother who doesn’t watch her kid, says she’s only bothering him because she’s alone and afraid now, with no husband and no daughter, he tells her he flat out does not want her around- and when he gets close enough to where he’s practically yelling in her face, his arm moves in a certain way that makes her flinch a bit. It’s obvious the reaction comes from the habit of expecting to be hit by a man when he’s angry and taking it out on her. Then she just turns her face kind of up to him. It’s her saying “go ahead” again- she’s not afraid and she can take whatever he does to her, but it’s still not going to make her leave or give up on him.

That makes him pause. Go Carol!

People in forums keep asking about the possibility of the two of them as a couple.

I gotta say I am not down with that idea.

The way Carol treats him is so nurturing and caring, which is so alien to him and so difficult for him to accept, that I get a very motherly feeling from her. He needs that more than he needs a romantic relationship, which is far less stable and much more turbulent. A warm, steadfast and unwavering friendship/love to help him see that he’s valued and worth caring about is what I think he should have.

Norman Reedus described their relationship as “damaged people being drawn to other damaged people.” But who among the people in that group isn’t damaged in some way?

The episode ended with what people have called Lori’s manipulation of Rick or how she’s playing mind-games with him, but I don’t see it that way at all. I see her finally realizing how scary Shane really is- how far into his delusion that she loves him he really is- and telling her husband because she’s afraid; both for him and for herself. He doesn’t even know about most of the things Shane has said and done right under his nose- he isn’t aware of how dangerous he can really be and Lori wants him to take treat this like the serious threat that it is. She’s not manipulating him- she’s admitting that she’s scared of losing him. I think she should tell him what happened at the CDC, too. That’s should’ve been a sign of worse things to come, not something you sweep under the rug and forget or write off as one bad night. .

Things are in motion- big, heavy, bone-crunching, landscape-changing things. It’s like I’ve been holding my breath and keeping very still, waiting with my eyes wide open for the other shoe to drop. I know something bad is coming; the big, heavy things are about to start gaining momentum and the vibrations of it make 7 days feel unbearably long. I’ve had 9 episodes and nearly 5 months to prepare for this: bring on the mayhem!

The One Who’d Put The Fence-Guy Down,

-Dianthrax

Stills Gallery From Episode #9 and

Three Sneak-Peak Stills From Episode #10!

A Little Something Extra:

( Just as an aside and something to check out while your flipping through the photo gallery- Rick may be quite pretty to look at pretty to look at…but he also has freakishly huge nipples!  Like, weird-looking, distractingly big! They look like they could engulf and eat Daryl’s nipples and feed a baby at the same time! Look::

See? Freakishly huge in comparison! Also: You’re welcome 😉

Sources: the AMC Press Resource Center, AMC