Which Bowl Is For You?
For as long as…well for a very, very long time there has been the Super Bowl. This held little interest for me other than the commercials, which now you can see on You Tube all together the next day without all that annoying football in between. So how do I spend that one extra-special Sunday? Well a few years ago I stumbled upon something intriguing on the Animal Planet network. It was basically a bunch of adorable little puppies running around, chasing each other, playing with toys, and in general being so damn cute you’re instantly turned into a window-licker.They called this enthralling television event
Since then it has more than exceeded the non-existent expectations of the network execs and grown to unexpectedly large proportions. The entertainment has been greatly expanded to include other animals as guest performers in their kitten half-time show, a pep squad pig, and something that involves penguins. I’m sure there’s some televised sports related position as the premise for why the darling lil aquatic birds are waddling around on fake grass but honestly, who cares? So. Effing. Cute.
But I kid you not, I happen to have a big soft spot for animals…and babies. So you can understand why a showcase of baby animals running amok is basically my Kryiptonite. Horror films filled with throat-cutting and limb-chopping won’t faze me. Walkers biting the faces off screaming victims? Pffft! I watch that during breakfast. But if the dog dies at the end don’t expect to find that movie on my personal top 10 list. This weakness for sweetness is also why standing in stark contrast to my many action figures, extensive vampire collectibles, skeleton bedspread, and miniature guillotine there’s also a 2014 kitten calendar. My mom gets me one for Christmas every year and I’m not ashamed to admit that I think it’s the cutest thing ever and I love it. So there.
Combine my love of baby animals with my utter apathy towards most professional sports and you’ll know what I’ll be watching.
But wait! This year something has changed! This year AMC has thrown my whole system out of whack by creating The Zombie Bowl:
These are a serious collection of showdowns with some truly memorable monsters; not to mention the walkers. There were staggering hoards, bloated body shredding, an assortment of sharp objects to the face, and everyone (other than Carol) significantly upping their position on the badass scale. But there were also some loses-including a few of said badasses themselves- but who are the true victors?
Obviously we are. Duh.
Plus the network knows how starved we fans are for any info on the second half of season 4 so I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re aren’t some tasty teaser tidbits during the commercial breaks amidst the non-game.
With this new option weighing heavily on the uber-fan portion of my heart and soul, what’s a complex girl with diverse tastes like me to do? Do I go with puppies or zombies?
That’s when it hit me. I’m proud to announce that I’ve come up with the perfect solution to implement next year that is sure to please both Puppy Bowl and Zombie Bowl fans alike.
The Super Zombie-Puppy Bowl!!
This new entertainment sensation features the un-dead versions of those lovable little pups fighting over a football stuffed with human flesh, all inside a Woodbury style torch-lit concrete arena. Bets can be placed and fantasy teams assembled, though I think the kitten half-time show will need to be removed or it’ll end up being the kitten ripped-in-half-time show with the refs removing the scraps off of the “field.” We could keep the pig pep squad though. We’ll just see if Rick could loan us some….oh yeah. Nevermind.
So tweet about it with #SuperZombiePuppyBowl & talk it over with other fans. I’d love to see some of your “zombified” versions of kitties, puppies, and pets of all kinds too, (God knows they’ll be better than mine) so post links in the comments section.
Let’s spread the word and make this happen!
Super Zombie-Puppy Bowl 2015!